Bit of everything

This year, the holidays have been harder to celebrate. I feel anxious every time I know a holiday is coming up and feel even worse on the actual day itself. It's something about birthdays and certain public holidays that makes me nervous and sad. I hate knowing that every holiday I'm spending and have already spent, is yet another one that has passed me by. It's times way of telling me, things are still moving...but I'm not.
Nothing has changed with the guy, that's what I'm most upset about. I can't shift him, can't seem to get to where I want to go.
Some days aren't too bad, but yes, it's the holidays that make it feel so much worse. And there's one coming up that I am NOT happy about at all.
That all out and said now, I'm gona jump topics.

Something else I have been thinking alot about is my trip to New Zealand coming up really soon.




This is a photo of Lake Tekapo.
The place is gorgeous as you can see, and I'm hoping I'll get to go back there while I'm over. It's reasonably close to Grandma so I should be able to.
On the top of the hill they have hot springs overlooking the lake...3 pools varying in temperature. I never got to go last time cos of the tom but I've already worked out that this time, I wont have it so I'm bringing my bathers!



So here's one of the pools...how beautiful does it look? I believe this one is the hottest, maintaining it's temperature around 41 degrees. Wouldn't want to stay in there too long hey.

I dreamt about flying over there the other night, like I was really going when I'm meant to be. I don't remember much now, but I do remember arriving there really early in the morning, much earlier than my actual flight is, which is odd but yeh...it was before daybreak and I was at my uncles house and nobody was there. Then around breakfast/brunch time my aunty turned up. I don't remember much else, just that mainly.
But yeh, I am looking forward to going over there for a break. It might help me.

And to be annoying and change the subject again...
Here's my favourite song at the moment, lyrics and all.



In This Moment
"Circles"
Black birds swarming
Letting me know that I am saved
Shadows dancing
Freeing me from yesterdays


Will I be saved, these voices are killing me
Will I make it through the brink of sanity


I know the skies will save me
I know


As we go in circles 
I am fading now
As we go in circles


Halo's glowing, showing me where I can turn
Angel's falling, somehow I know I am loved


I know the skies will save me
I know

As we go in circles 

I am fading now

As we go in circles

I know the skies will save me

I know

As we go in circles 

I am fading now

As we go in circles

And here's the song...although it doesn't have an actual video. 

"Circles" - I haven't figured out how to post videos yet. :)

That's all for now.

xx